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Still, I got thoughts—sex-datin’ can be a dang riot, but it’s lonely too. All that swipin’, and nobody’s askin’ your favorite song or holdin’ your hand under the stars. Made me blue as a Monday mornin’. I’d rather have a fella whisper sweet nothins’ than text me “wyd” at 2 a.m. Call me a sap, but I’m dreamin’ of “a harmony of overwhelming and collective murder”—not literal, sugar, just that big, wild, messy love that shakes ya to your core.

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So, I’m wandering down Kossuth Lajos utca, and I spot this little bakery. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I grab a kürtőskalács (that chimney cake, yum!). I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Szigetvár, chill out!” But nah, they’re going at it. I’m just standing there, half-eating my cake, trying not to laugh. Awkward, right?

Mosque ruins hint at Sultan Suleiman shrine in Hungary