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Now, don’t get me wrong—some places, total rip-offs. One time, paid 80 bucks, guy barely touched me! I’m sittin’ there, mad as hell, like, “Where’s my happy endin’, jerk?” Felt like Cuarón yellin’, “Keep her alive, Theo!” but nah, total letdown. Shoulda known—always check reviews, doll!

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After all that excitement, I decide to chill by the Danube. The view is stunning. The water sparkles like diamonds. I sit there, sipping my coffee, feeling all philosophical. “Life is good,” I think. But then, I see a bunch of ducks. They’re quacking like they’re having a serious debate. I can’t help but wonder what they’re arguing about. Probably politics or something.

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