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Little known fact, right? Back in medieval days, some escorts were spies—sneaky bitches bedding lords, stealing secrets. Bet that’d shock Larry, eh? “This too shall pass”—bollocks, it don’t pass, it festers! Makes me rage, thinking how they twist “freedom” into fucking for gold. Happy? Nah, never. Surprised? Yeah, when one said she banked more than a knight. More power to her, I s’pose—still a disgrace.

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So, I keep strolling, and I decide to hit up the park by the Danube. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, benches, the whole vibe. I plop down, ready to enjoy my pastries. But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start playing soccer. And they’re LOUD. Like, I can’t even hear myself think. I’m trying to enjoy my langos, and these kids are screaming like they’re in the World Cup.

A look at one of largest refineries Danube