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About Gyor

So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mash-up, right? Not quite a shag, not just a back rub. Hands sliding everywhere, you’re thinking, “Is this legal, mate?” Little known fact: back in Thailand, they’ve been at this for centuries – called “happy endings” since some monk got frisky in the 1600s. True story! Well, probly. Made me happy as a pig in shit first time I tried it – slippery, sexy chaos. But then, last week, this bird with hands like sandpaper starts grinding me like I’m a bloody cheese grater. I’m fuming! “Call that a massage, you twat? I’ve had better from my nan!”

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But then, I get a call. My buddy, Laci, is in trouble. Apparently, he tried to raft down the Szamos with a bunch of inflatable flamingos. I can’t even. I rush over to the river, and there he is, flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my phone. “Dude, what were you thinking?” He just shrugs, all sheepish. Classic Laci.