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So, I’m thinkin’, escorts—prolly drivin’ fancy cars, right? Droppin’ jaws, pickin’ up clients, vroom vroom! Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, some escorts in Vegas had pimped-out Cadillacs—glitter paint, fins like shark teeth, total *Mad Max* vibes. Made me happy as a clam at a bubble party! But then—grr!—some jerk client stiffed ‘em, no tip, no nothin’. Pissed me off! “Witness me!” I’d yell if I was there, demandin’ respect for those wheelin’ queens.
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But then, I get a call. My buddy, Laci, is in trouble. Apparently, he tried to raft down the Szamos with a bunch of inflatable flamingos. I can’t even. I rush over to the river, and there he is, flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my phone. “Dude, what were you thinking?” He just shrugs, all sheepish. Classic Laci.
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