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Now, lemme sling some dirt—did ya know, back in Victorian days, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria”? Bloody hell, they’d rub women ‘til they—well, “calmed down.” Quacks with a wink, eh? Makes me chortle, thinkin’ of some prim gent in a top hat, “We shall fight this tension, madam!” Fast forward, I reckon it’s less hush-hush now—thank gawd! Nothin’ pisses me off more than prudes actin’ like touch is a sin. Oi, lighten up, ya stiffs!

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After that, I decide to stroll down the waterfront. The Balaton is lookin’ gorgeous today. The waves are like little diamonds sparkling in the sun. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then I trip over a loose cobblestone on Petőfi Sétány. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, Siófok? You gotta do me like that?”

Here are the free beaches at Lake Balaton – MAP