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So, I was chattin’ up this bird once – total fox – and she’s like, “Austin, ever tried a tantric sexual-massage?” I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, tantric? That’s some next-level mojo!” Turns out, it’s this ancient gig, been round since forever, like 5th-century India or somethin’. Not just a quick rubdown – nah, it’s spiritual, mate! Breathin’ deep, energy flowin’, gets ya all tingly in the naughty bits. Made me happy as a clam, I tell ya – pure bliss!

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