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Humor? Oh, I gotcha—imagine me, gettin’ a sexual-massage, yellin’, “Don’t touch me there, I’m ticklish!” while the masseuse is all, “Sir, that’s my elbow.” Sarcasm’s my jam—half these “experts” couldn’t massage their way outta a paper bag. Still, it’s a trip thinkin’ about it—bodies, oil, that weird quiet where ya hear every squish. Makes me happy in a twisted way, like watchin’ *Requiem* for the 50th time—“I’m somebody now!”—but really, I’m just a merchandiser dreamin’ of a good rubdown. So, ya try it, tell me—worth it or a total rip?

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Then I meet up with my buddy, Zoli. We decide to grab lunch at this little spot on Széchenyi utca. The food is bomb! We’re munching on gulyás, and I’m telling him about my morning. He’s cracking up, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s not that funny!” But it kinda is.

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