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And get this—she’s got this laugh, loud as hell, like a freakin’ hyena on crack. Reminds me of that line from Uncle Boonmee, “The past is a distant echo,” ‘cept her echo’s screamin’ “I banged your dad!” right in my face. Ugh, grosses me out! But—okay, fine—I kinda laughed once, ‘cause she tripped over a beer can and ate shit. Funniest damn thing all week! Still a whore tho, don’t get it twisted.

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So, I left and headed to the art supply store. You know, the one near the train station? I was on a mission for some new brushes. But guess what? They were out of stock! I was like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, how do you run out of brushes? It’s an art store!

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