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But it ain’t all roses. Some dude’s out there, sendin’ dick pics like it’s a job—gross! Reminds me of that *Leviathan* line: “You’re all pigs!”—‘cept it’s dicks, not pigs, floodin’ my inbox if I’m a chick, y’know? Makes me wanna holler, “Strategery, people—use some class!” Then there’s the ghostin’—you’re chattin’, vibin’, then poof, gone! Happened to me once, left me sadder’n a hound dog on a porch. Sex-dating’s a jungle, I tell ya—fun, but you gotta dodge the vines.

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As the sun sets, I wander over to the Danube. The view is insane! The lights reflecting off the water, the Parliament building looking all majestic. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, and my battery dies. Classic! I’m like, “Really, universe? You couldn’t hold on for five more minutes?”

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