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I saw this escort once, right? In South Park—yeah, we got ‘em too! She was all classy, heels clickin’, smelled like money and perfume. Made me happy as hell, like “Dayum, she’s livin’ it!” But then—THEN—some jerk cop tried bustin’ her! Pissed me off! Respect my authoritah, pig! Let her work, she ain’t hurtin’ nobody! Fun fact: escorts been around forever—Romans had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, how badass is that?

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So, I dive into work. I’m mixing some plaster, and it’s going well. Then, boom! The mixer breaks. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, plaster everywhere, looking like a ghost. I’m laughing, but also kinda crying inside. I mean, who knew plaster could be so dramatic?

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