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Pissed me off tho—slipped me hook twice before I nabbed it. Kept thinkin’, “You little tease, stop playin’ hard to get!” Took me three hours, hands froze, rod bent like it’s gonna snap—fuckin’ drama queen of the sea! But when I got it? Oh, shagadelic joy! Heavy bastard too, near 20 pounds—exaggeratin’? Maybe, who cares, felt like a damn whale! Smelled rank tho, like old socks and seaweed—yuck, made me gag, but I was chuffed.

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Anyway, I settled for some dry croissant. Not the same, but whatever. I’m walking down the street, and I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic Nyirbator moment, right? I’m thinking, “Man, I hope those pigeons don’t attack me.” I mean, they can be savage. But then, boom! One of them swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. I freaked out! Like, “Get off me, you feathered fiend!” The old guy just laughed. Thanks, dude. Real supportive.

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