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But lordy, the flops! This one gal I know, swears she’s done after a dude showed up with a pet snake—wrapped round his neck like it’s a damn date accessory. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I’d be runnin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on a date with a coyote. And don’t get me started on the ghostin’—people vanishin’ like they’re in witness protection. “Life’s too short for small talk,” Toni’d mutter, and I’m like, yeah, but it’s too long for bad sex-dating stories.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Fő utca. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a coffee, and the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you screw up a cappuccino? It was like drinking hot milk with a sprinkle of cocoa. Ugh! I was ready to throw it at the wall. But then I took a sip, and it was actually kinda good. Go figure.

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