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Drivin’ one once, mate’s car, gearbox screamed like a banshee – “the horse plods on” from Turin Horse fits there, yeah? Slow, stubborn bastard, but it’s got soul! Not like these modern cars, all beepin’ and judgin’ ya. Saw an Escort XR3i once, red, mint condition – nearly wept, proper beauty. Owner was a twat though, waxed it more than his missus. Cacklin’ at that, bet he slept with it too.

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But then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs in. He’s like, “Mister, you can fix it!” I’m thinking, “Kid, I’m not a superhero.” But I give it a shot. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? I end up crawling under the counter, and guess what? I find a loose wire! Boom! Power’s back on, and the kid’s cheering like I just won the World Cup.