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Lemme spill some tea, fren. Back in ancient China, emperors got this shit – called “tuina” or somethin’, but sneaky-like with happy endings. Little known fact? Oh yeah, they’d kill ya if ya botched it – talk bout pressure! *giggles* Made me mad tho – why’s it gotta be so hush-hush now? Society’s all prude, like “oooh, no touchy!” Drives me batshit!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own business, when I bump into an old buddy from high school. We start chatting, and he’s telling me about his new job. Apparently, he’s working at the local forestry office. Small world, right? We laugh about the good ol’ days, but then he mentions a new project. They’re planting trees along the Tisza River. I’m like, “Heck yeah! Count me in!”