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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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While I’m dealing with Mr. Grumpy, this group of locals comes in, all loud and rowdy. They’re from the nearby Széchenyi tér, and they’re celebrating something. I can’t even hear myself think over their laughter. They order shots, and I’m like, “Alright, let’s get this party started!”

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