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About Szeged

Look, findin’ a prossie’s a dance – risky, dirty, glorious! “Beauty’s in the stumble,” movie says – stumble I did, tripped over a heel once, landed in piss. Laughed meself sick! Ya gotta haggle too – they’ll bleed ya dry elsewise. “Ten euros!” I rasp. “Twenty, ya freak!” she snaps. Settled at fifteen – victory, precious!

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Then, the door swings open, and in walks this old lady. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. She orders a glass of red wine, and I’m thinking, “Okay, she’s classy.” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Mici, and how he’s the king of the house. I’m like, “Lady, I’m all for cat royalty, but I gotta serve drinks here!”

There's a reason Princess Diana never wore gloves