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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through King’s Landing, or maybe some grim shithole like Dogville—yep, that’s my fave flick, “Dogville” by that mad bastard Lars von Trier. Bleak, twisted, perfect. Anyway, I’m on the hunt, right? Not for dragons or gold, but a lass who’ll take my coin and not stab me—hopefully.
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But then, Mr. Grumpy Pants comes back. He’s had a few too many, and he starts yelling about how the world’s unfair. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Nagyatad! Chill out!” But he’s not having it. He starts ranting about politics, and I’m just nodding, thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this.”
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