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Hey, pal, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m like, strumming my air guitar, thinkin’—this shit’s wild! Picture this: me, Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” watchin’ some oiled-up scene unfold. It’s all sensual vibes, right? Hands slidin’, bodies hummin’ like a riff from “Only Lovers Left Alive.” That movie—damn, it’s my jam! Adam and Eve, those sexy vamps, would totally dig this. “What is this music?” Adam’d say, all moody, while Eve’s smirkin’, “It’s alive, like us.” Sexual-massage is that kinda alive, ya know?

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Next, I head to the Rákóczi Ferenc utca. There’s this huge willow tree that needs some serious TLC. I’m up in the branches, feelin’ like a monkey, when I spot a nest. I’m like, “Sweet! Baby birds!” But then I realize, I’m not supposed to disturb them. So, I’m sittin’ there, just admiring the little fluffballs, when a squirrel decides to join the party. This little dude starts chattin’ me up, like he owns the place. I swear, he was judging my tree-climbing skills.

Mosonmagyarovar Journal; Coming Trials That May Try the Hungarian Soul (Published 1991)