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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.
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I love this city, even with its quirks. The trees, the streets, the people – they all make it home. And yeah, I might’ve spilled coffee and almost got attacked by a squirrel, but that’s just another day in the life of an arborist. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!
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