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Thing is, it’s all sneaky-like. Starts with “therapeutic” vibes, then bam—hands wanderin’ where they shouldn’t. “There ain’t no reins on this one,” I muttered, thinkin’ of Jack and Ennis, wild and free, not this soft-touch garbage. Pro tip: if ya try it, set boundaries, or you’re screwed—literally, maybe. Saw a guy once, went in for a “back rub,” came out lookin’ like he’d seen God. Laughed my ass off, then hated him for it. Costs a fortune too—50 bucks for some dame to paw ya? Robbery. Could buy a damn axe for that.

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Next, I decide to hit up the thermal baths. Lenti’s famous for those, man! I’m all about that relaxation life. But guess what? The place is packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m standing in line, and this old lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of the baths, and I’m trying to listen, but all I can think is, “Hurry up, lady!”

Sarah Lenti Played the Trump Card With the Lincoln Project