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So, check it—sexual-massage, it’s this wild mix of skill and, uh, charm, ya know? Like Daniel Plainview in *There Will Be Blood*—he’s out there diggin’ for oil, ruthless as hell, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m an oil man!” Well, these massage folks, they’re like, “I’m a pleasure man!” or lady, whatever, no judgin’ here. They got hands that work magic, slippin’ and slidin’ with oils, makin’ stress vanish—poof! Little known fact: back in the day, some ancient Greeks were all about erotic rubdowns, callin’ it a “health thing.” Yeah, right, sure, buddy, “health.” Wink wink.

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But then, outta nowhere, this old dude starts yelling at me in Hungarian. I have no clue what he’s saying, but I’m pretty sure it’s not compliments. I’m just standing there, half-eaten pastry in hand, looking like a deer in headlights. I mean, come on, I’m just trying to enjoy my snack!

After series of setbacks, Giordmaina and Borg qualify 3rd at Kunmadaras Drag Racing Strip in Hungary