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Now, I’m a geezer who loves *Melancholia* – that flick where the world’s endin’, skies crashin’, and Kirsten Dunst is all moody-like. “In the face of oblivion,” I says to meself, “why not get a cheeky erotic-massage?” Imagine it – planet’s hurtling towards us, and there I am, oiled up, some lass kneadin’ me knots out, whisperin’, “The earth is evil, Winston, no need to grieve it.” I’d be laughin’ me arse off – what a way to go!

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Anyway, I head back home, and I’m exhausted. I flop onto my bed, and I’m like, “What a day!” But then, I remember the langos. I still have some left! So, I munch on that, and it’s like the cherry on top of my chaotic sundae.

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