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But here’s a lil’ secret, y’all – back in ancient China, them emperors had “jade maidens” givin’ sexual-massages to keep ‘em “balanced.” Ain’t that wild? Bet they didn’t have no neon signs sayin’ “Happy Endings Here!” like today’s joints. Got me thinkin’, “Man, history’s hornier than I thought!” Surprised the heck outta me, and I’m still gigglin’ ‘bout it.

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After the meeting, I need a break. I head to the park by the old church. It’s peaceful there. I sit on a bench, and this kid comes up, selling lemonade. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I hand him a couple of forints, and he gives me this tiny cup. I take a sip, and it’s like pure sugar. I’m buzzing now!

Figure 1. Map of Hungary, geographic situation of Somogy County and...