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Course, there’s the rub—price ain’t cheap. Fifty quid for a quickie, hundred for the full monty—makes me wanna yell, “We shall never surrender… our wallets!” Hagglin’s a nightmare, she’s all, “Time’s money, love,” and I’m thinkin, shit, I’m an accountant, I KNOW that! Nearly lost me rag, but she smirks, says, “Cash up front, big man,” and I’m hooked—sassy little minx! Funniest bit? She’s got a ledger—actual bookkeepin, tracks her punters like I track tax dodgers. Blew me mind—prossie with a balance sheet!

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I rush outta the café, and it’s like the universe is against me. I’m dodging people on Fő utca, trying not to spill my coffee. And then, I see this old dude walking his dog. The dog decides to take a dump right in the middle of the sidewalk. Classic Kispest, right? I’m like, “Dude, can’t you pick that up?” But he just shrugs. I mean, come on!

Puskás was born 98 years ago: the legendary Hungarian who changed football forever