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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’m here to dish on escort, yeah, that funky lil’ plant. Not escort like some shady side gig, nah, I mean *esparto* grass, Stipa tenacissima for you nerds. Agronomy’s my jam, and this prickly beast’s got me all riled up and jazzed. Grows in Spain, North Africa, dry as hell, looks like a bad haircut on a hill. “I aimed to kill you,” it whispers to water, sucking dirt dry like a greedy outlaw. Tough as nails, this stuff – no wonder it’s been around forever.

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Then, this sweet old lady comes up to me. She’s looking for a book on gardening. I’m like, “Sure, let me help you.” We start chatting about her garden on Kossuth Lajos utca, and suddenly, my day doesn’t seem so bad. She tells me about her tomatoes and how they’re the best in town. I’m like, “You gotta share those!”

Viktor Orbán: ‘Every Hungarian Has a Little Bit of Petőfi in Them’