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Check this—did ya know escorts in old Rome were called “comites”? Means “companions,” but half the time they were just muscle for hire. Little known fact, bam! Blows my mind how it’s flipped—now it’s all “VIP service” or some shady Craigslist vibe. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my tequila, thinkin’, “Man, humanity’s a trip.” Makes me wanna flex and yell, “Can you smell what The Rock’s cookin’?” ‘Cause this escort game’s got layers, bruh!

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But then, just when I think the day’s turning around, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s not happy. Apparently, there’s a crisis brewing back at the office. I’m like, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” I’m trying to enjoy my lángos, but now I’m stressed again.

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