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Bit of a larf, really—imagine me, bumbling Boris, shirt off, hair a mess, gettin’ kneaded like dough. “Look at all my shit!”—that’s me, quotin’ *Spring Breakers*, showin’ off me glazin’ muscles. Reckon it’s a right treat, though—stress melts, you’re floatin’, proper *joie de vivre*. Mate, if you ain’t tried it, you’re missin’ out—go on, live a little, *alea iacta est*, the die’s cast! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? Blimey, what a lark!

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But then, the mood shifts. We hear sirens. Like, a lot of them. Turns out, there’s a protest happening down by the town hall. People are shouting about something—honestly, I couldn’t catch it. But it’s wild. I’m standing there, half-excited, half-worried. Zoli’s all, “Let’s go check it out!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not trying to get arrested today.”

Football Team Wins Championship after Suspicious 43-1 Victory