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Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ my theme song in my head, “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” while they’re kneadin’ me – keeps me chill, brother! Ever tried it yerself? Surprised me how it’s half-wrestlin’ match, half-dreamland – muscles screamin’ “tap out” but yer soul’s like, “keep it comin’!” Pro tip, brother: find a spot with dim lights, good tunes, not some fluorescent-lit dump smellin’ like old gym socks. That’s the Hulkster’s gospel, dude – sexual-massage ain’t just a rub, it’s a freakin’ experience! Whatcha gonna do when them hands run wild on you, brother?!

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But first, I need to dry off. I swing by my place, and I’m just about to change when my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you eat?!” Classic mom move. I’m like, “Yeah, I had some tomatoes.” She’s all, “Tomatoes? You need real food!”