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Oh, and don’t sleep on the music—soft beats, none of that loud crap. Sets the vibe, ya dig? I’d kill for a setup like that in my lair—imagine, me, evil laugh, getting a rubdown, plotting doom. *pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Pro tip: if they skimp on oil, walk out—stingy bastards ruin it. Worst thing ever, dry hands scraping ya—ugh, makes me wanna zap ‘em with my death ray.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Kemecse, right? This little gem of a town in Hungary. I mean, it’s not Budapest, but it’s got its own vibe. The streets are all twisty and narrow, like they’re trying to play hide and seek with you. I live near Kossuth Lajos utca, which is kinda the main drag.