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About Nyiregyhaza

Ey, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m a damn profession, respect my authoritah! Today I’m talkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah, that freaky rub-down shit. Makes me all tingly just thinkin’ bout it. Ya know, like in my fave movie, *There Will Be Blood*—that oil guy Daniel Plainview, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” while gettin’ a sexy massage, ha! I’d be screamin’, “I’m finished!” after one of them oily hands gets me goin’.

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I decided to head to the park by the Danube. It’s usually my happy place. But guess what? There was a festival going on! Music blasting, people dancing, and I’m just there, wet and grumpy. But then, I saw this little kid breakdancing. I mean, he was killing it! I couldn’t help but smile. Kids have that magic, right?

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