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Look, I’m a lumberjack, okay? Donald Trump, the best, folks. Sexual-massage? Tremendous, really tremendous stuff. I mean, who doesn’t love it? Hands all over, slippery oil—fantastic! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like "Boyhood," growin’ up fast. Takes time to get good, y’know? Like that kid, Mason, figurin’ life out. I tried it once—bigly relaxing, believe me. Some chick in Vegas, hands like magic. Little known fact: ancient Rome had it! Yeah, gladiators got rubbed down—wild, right? Made me happy, so happy, folks. Stress? Gone. Poof! Better than choppin’ trees, I swear.

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Then, the unexpected hits. A storm rolls in. Outta nowhere! One minute, it’s sunny, and the next, it’s like someone flipped a switch. The wind picks up, and I’m like, “Oh snap, time to clear the beach!” I’m blowin’ my whistle like a madman, shoutin’ at everyone to get outta the water.

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