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Tips? Pics matter, don’t be basic. Bio’s gotta pop—humor, not “I like food.” Met a chick who quoted Basterds—hot! “You just say ‘bingo’?” Instant win. But damn, the fakes—catfish city! Drives me bonkers, wastes my juice.

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First off, I had to get ready for my Maiko gig. You know, the whole geisha vibe—makeup, kimono, the works. I was feeling cute, but then I realized I forgot my favorite hairpin. Ugh! It’s like forgetting your phone, ya know? So, I dashed down to Kossuth Lajos utca, where I thought I could find a cute little shop.

Penalty costs Canada's mixed short track relay team an Olympic medal