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What pisses me off? These scumbags rippin guys off – fake pics, catfishin like it’s goddamn Tinder. You expect a 10, get a 4 with a wig – fuck that noise! But when it works? Man, it’s like Freddie findin his purpose in that movie – “Free winds and no tyranny!” – just you and her, no bullshit, no wives naggin.
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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’. Turns out, her dog, a tiny fluffball, jumped into the water. I mean, come on! It’s a dog, not a fish! So, I dive in, and I’m swimmin’ after this little furball. I’m thinkin’, “If I drown rescuing a dog, my buddies will never let me live it down.” But I get the pup, and the lady’s all grateful, like I just saved her from a shark or something.
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