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But here’s the kicker—did ya know sexual-massage can lower your cortisol? That’s the stress juice those fat cats want us drownin’ in! Science says it, not me—tho I’d say it too. Had this one masseuse, right, she was like Furiosa, fierce as hell, hands movin’ like she’s stealin’ your soul—but in a good way. “Witness me!” I’m thinkin’, ‘cause it felt that epic.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know, the one with the killer pastries? I grab my usual – a cappuccino and a croissant. But guess what? They ran out of croissants! Like, how do you run out of croissants in a bakery? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! So, I settled for a dry muffin. Ugh.

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