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Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know, the one with the killer pastries? I grab my usual – a cappuccino and a croissant. But guess what? They ran out of croissants! Like, how do you run out of croissants in a bakery? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! So, I settled for a dry muffin. Ugh.

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