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Oh, and the drama—escort’s a freakin’ soap opera. Ever hear about the escort who crashed a royal party in Monaco? Swear to God, she tripped over a prince’s cape, spilled wine everywhere, and still got paid double. I’m over here like, “I can’t even crash a Zoom call without cryin’!” Total *Amélie* moment— “sometimes you gotta break eggs to live!” Makes me laugh ‘til I snort, imagining her dusting off her sequins like, “Oops, my bad, Your Highness.”

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Anyway, I get to the park, and Gábor’s not there. I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy. I check my phone again. He’s like, “Sorry, running late!” Ugh, classic Gábor. So I sit on a bench, people-watching. There’s this old dude feeding pigeons. I swear, those birds are plotting something. They’re too organized for their own good.

Hungary gravediggers compete in national race