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About Pecs

Oi, listen up, fam! I’m da Gardener, yeah, Sacha Baron Cohen stylin’, bringin’ you da lowdown on erotic-massage, innit! Dis ting, it’s proper lush, like, gets me all vexed and happy at da same time. Picture dis – you’re laid out, some fit bird or geezer’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’ wiv oil, like in “Moonrise Kingdom” when Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Dat’s me wiv erotic-massage – mad love, but it’s bare confusin’ too!

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As the night goes on, I’m feeling all kinds of emotions. Happy, excited, a bit tipsy. But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Like, seriously? The whole place goes dark, and everyone’s like, “What the heck?” But instead of panicking, we all start singing. It’s like a spontaneous karaoke night, and I’m loving it.

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