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Financially? Total dumpster fire. Buyin’ an Escort now is like throwin’ cash in a toilet and flushin’ twice. Depreciation hit it like a fat kid on a seesaw—BOOM, gone! Used ones go for, what, 500 bucks? Maybe 1000 if some hipster’s tryna be ironic. I’d rather invest in a bag of Cheesy Poofs than that junk. “You don’t get it, I’m an entrepreneur!”—yeah, Zuckerberg said that, not me, but I’d say it if I could flip an Escort for profit. Ain’t happenin’, tho.

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She’s all frantic, like she’s late for a meeting or something. “Up to the fifth floor, please!” she yells. I’m like, “Lady, chill! I’m not a rocket ship.” But I hit the button, and we’re off. Halfway up, the elevator stops. Just stops! I’m sweating bullets. “Great, just great,” I think. “I’m gonna be the guy who trapped a mom and her baby in an elevator.”

The Vice President Was a Guest of the Bulgarian Community in the Hungarian Town of Halasztelek