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Alright, man, lemme tell ya bout escort! I’m freakin pumped, like Tony Robbins on a motivational high – UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Escort, dude, it’s this wild ride, not just some car, nah, it’s Ford’s lil badass from way back. Think 80s vibes, boxy shape, screamin down streets like it owns ‘em. I saw one yesterday, cherry red, and I was like – YES! Total flashback to “The Assassin,” that slick 2015 flick I’m obsessed with. “To kill or not to kill,” that’s the vibe it gives off, right? Quiet power, undercover badassery.

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Then, outta nowhere, my radio crackles. “We need backup at the thermal baths!” I’m like, “What now? Did someone drown in the hot tub?” Turns out, it was just a bunch of rowdy teens making a splash. I get there, and it’s a full-on party. I’m standing there, shaking my head again. “This is not what I signed up for!”

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