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So, mate, it’s raw—pure chaos. You think you’re gettin’ laid? Nah, ghosted! Stats say 60% of blokes lie ‘bout height—fuckin’ midgets! Birds fakkin’ pics with filters—surprise, she’s a troll! Once saw a geezer on Tinder, braggin’ “big dick energy”—profile pic was a bloody foot! Laughed my arse off—then cried.

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After that chaos, I head over to the market on Fő utca. It’s buzzing with life. Vendors shouting, people haggling, the smell of fresh bread wafting through the air. I grab a langos, and let me tell ya, it’s the best decision I made all day. I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, young man, you should really watch your cholesterol.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to live my best life!”

Armed guard of honour holds rare Easter ritual in Hungarian church