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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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Anyway, I get to her place, and she’s already waiting with a plate of those delicious Hungarian pastries. I mean, who can say no to that? But then, she starts rambling about her cat, Mici. “Mici this, Mici that.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to fix your fence, not adopt your cat!” But I smile and nod, ya know?

Steve Niles and Gyula Nemeth Launch Nazi Revenge Fantasy, The Possessed #1 From Clover Press in June 2020