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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! So I’m slingin’ change at this crummy cashier gig, right, and I gotta spill about *escort*—not the car, nah, the spicy stuff! Like, escorts, man, they’re out there, livin’ wild, and I’m just countin’ nickels, thinkin’—whoa, nelly! Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*, ya know, my fave flick—spies, secrets, sneaky vibes. “We are not machines!”—that’s what I’m yellin’ in my head when I see these escort stories. They’re hustlin’, dodgin’ creeps, and I’m like—respect, yo!

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So, I dry off a bit and decide to take a stroll. I hit up the thermal baths. Man, if you haven’t been, you’re missing out. It’s like heaven on earth. I’m chillin’ in the warm water, and I start thinkin’ about life. Like, why do I even do this job? But then I remember the pastries, and I’m like, “Oh yeah, that’s why!”

Violinist Gyula Stuller Steps Down from Orchestre de Chambre de Lausanne