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What surprised me? The sneaky ones—catfishers posin’ as hotshots. Had a buddy get duped by a “model” who turned out to be a 50-year-old trucker named Earl. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?差点儿气死我了—oops, nearly cussed in Chinese there, y’all! I’m quirky like that, mind jumpin’ fences. Sex-dating’s a jungle—some find gold, some step in manure. Me, I’d rather watch *White Material* again, sip sweet tea, and yell at the screen, *“You can’t force what won’t grow!”*

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First off, I hit up the main street, Széchenyi utca. You know, the one with all the cafes and shops? I’m just minding my own business, sharpening some knives, when this dude comes up. He’s all frantic, like he just saw a ghost or something. Turns out, he’s got this ancient knife from his grandma. I mean, it looked like it had been through a war. I’m like, “Bro, I can fix this,” but inside I’m thinkin’, “This thing’s seen better days.”

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