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But then—fuck—some dumbass scientist pissed me off. Said sexual-massage ain’t real in fish. Bullshit! I yelled, “You blind, cabrón?” Seen it with my own eyes—catfish grindin’ up close, massagin’ fins like pros. Tony don’t lie, man! Another freaky bit—electric eels, they zap while they rub. Zap-zap, sexy time! Bet that’s a shock to the system—hah, get it? Fuckin’ hilarious. Reminds me of Holy Motors—“The beauty of the act!”—that’s what sexual-massage is, pure chaos, pure beauty.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kossuth Lajos utca. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—double espresso, extra shot. I need that caffeine kick, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me a free pastry to make up for it. Sweet, right? I’m munching on this flaky thing, and it’s delish.

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