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Ain’t all roses, tho – some parlors? Sketchy as hell. Got mad once, chick tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ “extra service.” I’m like, “Girl, I’m Apollo, I don’t pay for bullshit!” Stormed out, fists clenched. But when it’s good? Oh, it’s heaven – warm oil drippin’, stress meltin’, like Ida findin’ peace in silence. “You’ll never know what you’ve lost,” she says in the movie – same with a bad massage, ya miss the magic.

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But then, I see this old dude at the next table. He’s got this wild white beard, looking like a wizard or something. He starts chatting me up about the history of Fehergyarmat. Apparently, it’s got roots going back to the Middle Ages. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanted coffee, not a history lesson!” But he was kinda cool, so I let it slide.

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