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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’. It’s got history, dude! Way back, ancient Greeks were all about it—called it “hands-on healin’” or some crap. Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn sexy! Ha! Makes me laugh thinkin’ bout some toga guy gettin’ frisky mid-rub. D’oh! Clueless bastards.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud noise. It’s coming from the old mill on the edge of town. I run over, and what do I find? A bunch of kids trying to catch a rat for a school project. I’m like, “Seriously? You guys are nuts!” But they’re all hyped up, and I can’t help but join in. We set up a trap, and after a few minutes, we catch this little guy. The kids are cheering, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “What have I gotten myself into?”

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