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I go online, X posts, see dis one guy, he say, “Erotic-massage save my marriage!” I tink, “Bro, you wild!” Den I see pics—candles, dim lights, lady in robe, oof, my heart go boom-boom! Very nice! But den, shady part—some places, dey scam ya! No license, no trainin, just rub-rub, take cash, bye-bye! Dat piss me off, fren! I’m investigator, I wanna bust em! But den I chill—maybe dey just tryna eat, y’know?

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I head to the back, and there they are—three fat rats, munching away like they’re at a buffet. I swear, they looked like they were on a mission. I grab my traps, and it’s game on. I’m sneaking around, trying to be all stealthy, but I trip over a bag of flour. Boom! Flour everywhere. I’m covered, looking like a walking pastry. János is laughing his head off. “You’re a real catch, mate!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, real funny.”

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