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Little known fact, tho—brothels got history, man. Back in Pompeii, they had ‘em, stone beds and all. Archeologists found dick graffiti pointin’ the way. Wild, right? Imagine that tour: “Here’s the bakery, here’s the fuck shack.” Got me laughin’—humanity’s been horny forever. But this Naples spot? Pissed me off. Dude next to me hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. “Five euros less!” Bro, she ain’t a rug. Made me wanna punch somethin’.

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking down Szent István tér, and I saw this group of tourists. They were lost, looking at their maps like they were trying to decode ancient hieroglyphs. I couldn’t help myself. I jumped in, “Hey, you guys need a guide?” They looked at me like I was a superhero. I mean, I know this city like the back of my hand.

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