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Yo, how you doin’? So, sex escorts, man—wild stuff! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout that movie *Her*, ya know, where Joaquin’s all lonely and fallin’ for a damn voice. “I can’t believe I’m havin’ this conversation!”—that’s me, talkin’ to my buds about escorts. It’s like, these girls (and dudes, I guess) are out there, makin’ bank, livin’ a life most don’t get. I mean, who knew—some escorts got regulars who just wanna talk! Like, what? No bangin’, just chattin’? Blew my mind, man.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll by the Emod River. It’s kinda pretty, not gonna lie. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my legs. I’m soaked! Like, thanks, kid. Really needed that.

Helen Greff